On the vexed question of maize buttons

I don’t answer the question, “But what are maize buttons?” anymore, because I’m tired of it, and also because it seems so obvious to me that I feel that anyone, with only a little thought, could work out what they are, or an approximation that would satisfy.

Obviously not.

So!  The definitive author’s answer is:  Maize buttons are small cornbread muffins.

I am never answering this question again.