The woman on our party line’s a nosy thing; she picks up the receiver when she knows it’s my ring

So!  Today was a Wasted Day.

Oh, it fired a warning shot over the bows first, but there was really nothing I could’ve done to alter course.

The warning shot:  I opened Firebird this morning, to find letters in-queue, but! they were all empty.  Further investigation revealed an Urgent! message from Eset Security, counseling me to upgrade (for free) Right Now.  So I did that.

Or, at least, I tried to do that.

Eset reported that the install had failed. Panicked, I rebooted the machine.  The installation completed on reboot, and my mail automagically appeared in fullness.

Phew.

Went out to the kitchen to get my coffee and to unplug my cellphone, which had been charging on the overnight.  Turned it on and — No Sim Card — read the message running along the top of the screen.  Turned the phone off.  Turned it back on.  Same result.  Took it back to my office, jacked it into the computer, turned it on. . .

No Sim Card.

Now, before anybody tells that All I Have To Have Done was open up the phone and reseat the SIM card — I have a Droid Turbo.  If there’s any way to open the case, it requires a specialized tool unavailable to the residents of the confusion factory.

Which is why I want into town, seeking the Verizon store and that specialized tool.

I had to wait about fifteen minutes for a tech, so I went to the back of the store and opened the book I had grabbed off the table on my way out the door — Carousel Tides, by Sharon Lee.  Never heard of her, but it’s a pretty good book. Which turned out to be a blessing.  While I was reading, a woman wandered by, looking at phones, as one does. She had a small, intelligent dog on a leash.  Dog saw me and thrust forward, tail wagging.  I said, “Hi, Dog,” extended a hand. . .

“Don’t touch him!” the woman snapped.  “He’s a service dog!”

I blinked.  “He’s not wearing his vest,” I said, mildly.

“It’s too hot for his vest,” she said.  “He’s all business when he has it on, and he just wants to talk to everybody when he doesn’t — but don’t touch him.  He’s working.”

So, then.  Dog, who looked, as I say, like a fine, intelligent fellow, knows the Rules. Too bad his Boss doesn’t.

Back to the book, ignoring Dog and owner.  Eventually, my name is called.  The tech — Josh — allows as how the phone is still under warranty, and it ought to be an easy fix, if I’d just sit back down, he’d be back in five minutes.

He was back sooner than that, saying that whatever had done the SIM card had wiped the phone’s serial number on the way out, and he couldn’t do the fix.  He was therefore going to have to get me a replacement phone.

Except — you see where this is going, right?  Right.  My phone is Too Old to be stocked in the store.  Josh goes online to the Verizon Warehouse, finds one, orders it, comes back to tell me that it’ll be seven days before it arrives.  I allow as how that’s not exactly convenient, but a phone on the way is better than no phone at all.  He goes back to confirm the order —

And finds a message from the warehouse inventory system that — the phone is out of stock.

He then calls Motorola.  I overheard the part of the conversation that went, “No, I am not going to tell my customer that I’ll give her fifty bucks on her phone toward a new one.  Her phone is under warranty.  If you can’t send her a replacement phone, I’ll just give her one of the new Droids we have in stock — I’m sorry?  OK, let’s try that.”

Apparently, Motorola did a remote reset, which reawakened the SIM card and re-established the serial number.  No, I don’t know how that worked.  All I know is that my phone was back on-line, and All We Had To Do — cough — was for me to sign into Google and re-acquire my Stuff.

Except. . .Google wouldn’t let me in — I was stuck in an endless loop of “enter email/enter password” — my email and password worked on Josh’s phone, but not on mine.

Long story short, Josh called Google, which isn’t as easy as you might think, and finally got through to a tech named Cora, who explained that because the phone had been reset, there was a 24-hour lockdown period before I could sign into my Google account.  Josh asked if there was any way around that, and she gave him Motorola’s number.

He called Motorola, and talked to. . .somebody.  Again cutting corners — Motorola assumes that any device that has been wiped and re-animated has been stolen — yes, even if they have just done that Their Very Own Selves — and no — there is no way around the 24-hour lockdown.

So, what I have sitting on the kitchen table is currently a brick, and I won’t know until tomorrow at about 1:30 in the afternoon, if it really does function now.

Hotcha.

This whole operation consumed FIVE HOURS of my day.  I’m glad I had a good book with me, as I said.  As it was, I blew off the rest of my errands, save a quick stop at the grocery store in the same shopping center as the phone store, to pick up a quiche for lunch, and came home, where Steve said, “I wondered where you were all this time, so I sent you a text. . .”

Here’s hoping that your day was considerably better than mine.

Also!  As of this writing, one month after its release date, Alliance of Equals has 163! reader reviews on Amazon.com, only 37 shy of our goal of 200 reviews!  That’s. . .awesome.  Thank you.

Today’s blog title is brought to you by the Waybacks, “Mind Your Own Business.”  Here’s your link.

 

 

Books read in 2016

35.  The Fall of Kings, Ellen Kushner and Delia Sherman (e)
34.  Play of Passion, Nalini Singh (read aloud with Steve)
33.  Privilege of the Sword, Ellen Kushner (re-re-&c-read) (e)
32.  Swordspoint, Ellen Kushner (re-re-&c-read) (e)
31.  Incarnate, Jodi Meadows (e)
30.  Discount Armageddon, Seanan McGuire (e)
29.  Tiger Eye, Majorie M. Liu (e)
28.  Visitor, C. J. Cherryh (read aloud with Steve)
27.  To Have and to Hold, Nalini Singh (e)
26.  The House of Shattered Wings, Aliette de Bodard
25.  Bride of the Rat God, Barbara Hambly (e)
24.  Every Heart a Doorway, Seanan McGuire (e)
23.  Maximum Ice, Kay Kenyon (e)
22.  War for the Oaks, Emma Bull (re-re-re-re-read)
21.  Wheel of the Infinite, Martha Wells (e)
20.  Algonquin Cat, Val Schaffner, illustrated by Hilary Knight
19.  Karen Memory, Elizabeth Bear
18.  Ancillary Mercy, Ann Leckie
17. When Falcons Fall, C.S. Harris
16.  Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Winifred Watson (re-re-re-&c-read)
15.  Uprooted, Naomi Novik
14.  Strong Poison, Dorothy L. Sayers (re-re-re-read)
13.  Written in Red, Anne Bishop
12.  Andy & Don, Daniel de Visé
11.  The Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
10.  Foxglove Summer, Ben Aaronovitch
9.   Broken Homes, Ben Aaronovitch
8.   Soul Music, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
7.   Whispers Underground, Ben Aaronovitch
6.   Moon Over Soho, Ben Aaronovitch
5.   Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
4.   Conflict of Honors, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller (e) (re-read)
3.   Mort, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
2.   The Sculptor, Scott McCloud
1.   A Short History of a Small Place, T.R. Pearson

Which wolf wins?

Well, it looks like we need a little bit of catch-up hereabouts.

Before I forget, there are, as of this writing 155 reader reviews for Alliance of Equals on Amazon US*.  That’s just 45 reviews short of our goal of 200!  You guys are incredible; thank you so much for making the time!

Life at the Confusion Factory remains, er. . .more confused than we would like.  While some confusion necessarily accompanies what we’ll dignify as The Creative Lifestyle, chaos is. . .not so good.  Sadly, this particular round of chaos is not of our making, and the only thing we can do right now is ride the storm, answer the phone, and be prepared to leap off in All Directions at Once at the sounding of the whistle.  The cats are sitting on us whenever we come to rest, which is more help than it sounds like, however. . .

We have asked, and received, an extension for handing in the next book (still without a title, argh), originally scheduled for an August 15 turn-in (which is, like, 12 days from now).  We’re now looking at turning the book in by the end of 2016.  See “chaos” above.

Despite the on-going uncertainties, this past weekend was a working weekend; we took a short break on Sunday to celebrate Steve’s birthday with a meal that neither of us had to cook, at Governor’s, followed by ice cream and cake at home.  We also made time to view “Tomorrowland,” which we’ve had for ages, thanks to the kind offices of a friend.  Since someone had asked me to tell them what I thought of the movie, eventually:  we very much enjoyed it.  Bear in mind that we also enjoyed “Jupiter Ascending,” “Ondine,” “Guardians of the Galaxy,” and “The Legend of Roan Inish.”

I do want to take this time, in between waves of chaos, to thank everyone for their interest in, and support of, our work.  Whether you review our books, push them on unsuspecting friends, donate to Patreon, or PayPal, or simply buy and enjoy the stories — you mean a great deal to us.  Thank you.

Today’s blog title is brought to you by “Tomorrowland,” and is the punchline of a riddle:  There are two wolves and they are always fighting.  One is Darkness and Despair; the other is Light and Hope.  Which wolf wins?**

So, that.

Everybody stay calm.  Hug the people you love.  Pet the cat.  Call your mom.

I’ll see you on the flip side.

____________
*Someone had asked if Amazon UK reviews “counted.”  Well, of course they count — thank you.  They do not, however, contribute to the Big Pile of Reviews we’re attempting to amass at Amazon US, because, for reasons best known to itself, Amazon does not cross-pollinate the reviews from its various country-sites.

**The one you feed

Quick check-in

I realize I haven’t done this in a couple of days, so here’s a quick numbers check:

As of right now, there are 137 reader reviews on Amazon.  That’s only 63 short of the 200-review goal!

D’you think we can hit 200 by August 5, which would be one month from the July 5 publication date?

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time and thought to post a review!

Books read in 2016

34.  Play of Passion, Nalini Singh (read aloud with Steve)
33.  Privilege of the Sword, Ellen Kushner (re-re-&c-read) (e)
32.  Swordspoint, Ellen Kushner (re-re-&c-read) (e)
31.  Incarnate, Jodi Meadows (e)
30.  Discount Armageddon, Seanan McGuire (e)
29.  Tiger Eye, Majorie M. Liu (e)
28.  Visitor, C. J. Cherryh (read aloud with Steve)
27.  To Have and to Hold, Nalini Singh (e)
26.  The House of Shattered Wings, Aliette de Bodard
25.  Bride of the Rat God, Barbara Hambly (e)
24.  Every Heart a Doorway, Seanan McGuire (e)
23.  Maximum Ice, Kay Kenyon (e)
22.  War for the Oaks, Emma Bull (re-re-re-re-read)
21.  Wheel of the Infinite, Martha Wells (e)
20.  Algonquin Cat, Val Schaffner, illustrated by Hilary Knight
19.  Karen Memory, Elizabeth Bear
18.  Ancillary Mercy, Ann Leckie
17. When Falcons Fall, C.S. Harris
16.  Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Winifred Watson (re-re-re-&c-read)
15.  Uprooted, Naomi Novik
14.  Strong Poison, Dorothy L. Sayers (re-re-re-read)
13.  Written in Red, Anne Bishop
12.  Andy & Don, Daniel de Visé
11.  The Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
10.  Foxglove Summer, Ben Aaronovitch
9.   Broken Homes, Ben Aaronovitch
8.   Soul Music, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
7.   Whispers Underground, Ben Aaronovitch
6.   Moon Over Soho, Ben Aaronovitch
5.   Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
4.   Conflict of Honors, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller (e) (re-read)
3.   Mort, Terry Pratchett (read aloud with Steve)
2.   The Sculptor, Scott McCloud
1.   A Short History of a Small Place, T.R. Pearson

It reminds me of the places we used to go. . .

There has lately been a demand for pictures of us that are professional, high-rez, and current, so yesterday, we met man-about-Waterville and professional photographer Patrick Groleau on Main Street at 9 o’clock in the morning, and spent the next two-and-a-half hours walking around the city, with occasional stops by brick walls, old Studebakers-turned-beer-cellars, weed-choked hitching posts, the obligatory park-cannon, and the Two Cent (or Two Penny) Bridge.  At one point, Patrick was taken with the notion that we should have a picture on the tracks, which would have been OK, except that we had to mention to him that. . .there was a train coming.

Which!  Was an opportunity to scramble up a bank, and pose by a half-eroded retaining wall so that a picture could be taken with the engine over our shoulders.

We then walked some more, stepping lightly past the camps of the brotherhood of people with no fixed address; were educated on the “safe” and “unsafe” sides of the river, and entertained with tales of hobo camps of days gone by, and the fine art of freight car hopping.

Our last stop was Children’s Book Cellar, for an Authors in Bookstore shot, after which we stopped by Framemakers to drop off the cover art for The Gathering Edge to be framed, thence to Gifford’s for well-earned milkshakes (which Gifford’s has now decided are “frappes” — and we were corrected by the counterperson when we asked for “milkshakes”) and out to Heartland Estates to view an open house at the “stand alone condominium” community.  It was a nice house, I guess; ‘way too small for life as we live it (though it had radiant floors, which I confess to coveting), and ‘way too rich for the blood of freelance writers.  We tried not to create too much consternation, but I’m not sure we succeeded.

Back into town we went, for to pick up groceries, and take-out, because it had suddenly become quite late.  Then, a nap, and when we woke, there were photographs in Steve’s inbox, several of which we deployed to those awaiting them.

The photos are interesting — for instance, they reveal that Steve lives in his face much more than I do — and make Waterville look every inch an Urban Center.

We also learned, in the course of our walk about town that Toast Express, which had been a welcome addition to our breakfast choices, has closed.  We were last in a couple weeks ago, to find that the menu board had been removed (Oh, said the woman behind the counter, it’s just being updated), and that the regulars were being pulled aside for whispered conversations, while the counter-boss assured another person — Oh, no, I’m not leaving; I’m just going down to Kentucky for a couple weeks to watch my grandson…

We had hoped that the signs were not what we thought they were.  Silly us.

The theory I’ve heard is that things like Toast are too expensive for the area, which may well be true.  Prices of things, and food have gone up, but Waterville in specific, and Maine in general harbors an aging population of former blue collar workers, who have now slipped over the line from middle class to poor.

This weekend is a working weekend, with a small celebratory break on the morrow. We had thought that we might go to Toast Express for breakfast, but — guess not.

Everybody have a great weekend!

Authors and Studebaker Patrick Groleau July 29 2016
Authors and Studebaker Patrick Groleau July 29 2016

Today’s blog title is brought to you by Ringo Starr, “Photograph.”  Here’s your link.

 

 

 

I’ve got a girlfriend with bows in her hair, and nothing is better than that. . .is it?

As I write this, there are 132 reader reviews on Amazon for Alliance of Equals.  Only 68 more to hit our goal of 200!  You guys are awesome.

Also, I see that Dragon in Exile has picked up a few reviews, too, as a sort of overflow\proximity event. Thanks to everyone who took the time.

Here in Central Maine today, it was hot, for values of “hot” above 90F/33C.  Which is plenty hot enough.  I was on at the hospital, where the inside temp was nice and coolish; Steve turned on the A/C here at the house, and the cats have taken up strategic positions in puddles of coolth.

By virtue of arriving at the nice, cool hospital early today, I actually had ten minutes of peace and quiet in which I Realized several important things about the novel-in-progress.  It would perhaps have helped if I’d realized them earlier, but better late than never, I guess.

Maybe I need to go to the hospital at lunchtime every day, and just sit at a table for ten minutes, with my notebook open and pen in hand.  Or not.  It’s possible that the various thought fragmentation nodules have at least been quietened, if not completely silenced.  We very much hope that this is the case.

Later this week, we’re to meet with the photographer for to have our heads shot, and, while we’re at it, have some PR shots taken that will reflect the reality of this century, purple hair and all.

Tomorrow, there is nothing scheduled (except, yanno, taking the trash out).  I believe that is my cue to take the laptop and lay claim to the couch in the living room, with my notes and new insights.  So that?  Is what I will do.

Everybody stay cool.  Here, let Belle show you how:

Belle staying cool July 25 2016Today’s blog title is brought to you by Talking Heads, “Girlfriend is Better.” Here’s your link.

 

 

 

Speaking of bad news. . .

Steve and I are very sorry, indeed, to announce that we will NOT be attending the 74th World Science Fiction Convention, MidAmeriCon II, to be held in Kansas City, August 17-21.

A direct casualty of this is the signing we were to do at the Bradley Fair Barnes and Noble, in Wichita, Kansas, on August 14.

We apologize to everyone who thought they’d have a chance to meet us, or to renew our acquaintance.  And we especially apologize for the lateness of the hour.  Up until this past Saturday, we were certain that we’d be attending.

So, here’s what we’d like you to do — go to the con, and have a terrific time.  Raise a glass of whatever it is you’re having, and share the toast with friends:  “To Plan B!” which is our own most-used salute.  Drop us a note, if you can, and tell us about the con. We’d like that.

So that’s the bad news.

Again, we apologize, but — necessity is.

 

 

PSA

Time-Warner is in the process of merging with Comcast, I think, and this is apparently causing havoc here at cable’s end.  My ISP has been blocked as a security risk by our web host TWICE in the last two days.  I cannot see our sites, much less update them.  I am writing THIS post on my phone, across the cell network.  Regular updates will resume after someone figures out a fix that sticks.  Thank you for your patience.