Tag: out and about

What if I’d been the one to say goodbye?

What went before Tuesday:

Went down a couple of rabbit holes.

First, someone is actually trying to schedule an MRI for me, and we’ve been playing phone and portal tag.

Second, I went looking for The Other File full of teaching stuff — I did find it — but while I was looking, I opened a file drawer Full of Lee-and-Miller interviews, reviews, articles, pr — bunches and Bunches and BUNCHES of Stuff. A whole file drawer and, yanno?

We have never been famous, or even particularly —

And that? Was Midcoast Hospital in Brunswick calling. I have an MRI scheduled for Saturday December 6, so someone’s taking this seriously. Is there a word that means “simultaneously freaked out and relieved”?

Anyhoot. As I said, I did find the Other File, but I still need to get with the cat fountains, so that’s next — glares at universe.

Right?
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So, below (far, far below) is what I think will be my next glass attempt, to work on my cutting and also to use some of the scraps. Also, if I decide to get Really Crazy, I can just keep going up.

In other news, today was the Magic Medical Day. I have the MRI scheduled and an audiology appointment. This of course means that December is filling up with medical appointments, but here we are.

I am relieved to report that the cat fountains have been changed out, though I still need to wash the fiddly bits, my other duty to the cats has been performed, and I ate lunch, too!

It has gotten later sooner than I had expected, so my next thing will be to thread my needles for tonight’s meeting.

I have downloaded the book club book (The Thursday Murder Club, for those who missed the big announcement yesterday), but I have Ghost Army of WWII queued up on the tablet for my next read.

Also! It’s November which means I need to decide if I’m doing a Yule Letter this year.

And I still need to do the form for Adult Ed. That may have to happen tomorrow evening.

Whee!

Is everybody having fun?


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So, when I went over to my instructor’s house to finish my project, and I saw how many places I had missed covering the copper, I realized that it’s a little too dim in Foosball Studio. I have thus purchased (yet another) Verilux task lamp (this one is a twofer: Task light and Happy Light) — it will go in Steve’s office and the repaired so-called smart light that’s currently in Steve’s office will go into the studio. I also bought a “beginner” happy light for my office, because I cannot afford — that’s literally “afford” — to get depressed, and the way I’m feeling about the encroaching winter — it seemed like a reasonable precaution.
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WEDNESDAY
So, I’m home, having had small-a adventures, which made for a pleasantish time. I had the first appointment for the car’s annual inspection, and the putting on of the new plates. A couple of filters needed to be replaced “next time for sure,” but I told them to do it now, since I was all settled in, and! had a coupon, so that happened.

After, I went down to Water Street in downtown Augusta and had breakfast at Dave’s, which I’ve never been to. Perfectly fine diner food, quick cheerful service, lots of customers, nailed a window seat. Will return. It’s one of my challenges, as I go forward, finding places Steve and I did not go to regularly, so Dave’s was a good discovery.

After breakfast, I backtracked to Manchester and Stained Glass Express, where I took on glass, tools, oil, but NOT a grinder, which are — ow. It turns out that I can rent a studio at Glass Express when a studio is empty, and use all the tools there, so the Plan is to cut out my pieces, then gather them together and grind them all at once.

After my /s/p/e/n/d/i/n/g /s/p/r/e/e needful art shopping, I went over to Longfellow’s Greenhouse and Gift Emporium, where I found a vacuum bottle (which I’ve been looking for). Now I can make a bottle of tea and take it back to Steve’s office with me, so I don’t have to interrupt myself to walk to the front of the house to make another mugful (YES, this is a First World Problem, and I’m glad I solved it), and some lavender soap, because — lavender soap — and a cardinal to hang in Steve’s office. They are ALL Christmased up at Longfellow’s.

After frivolous shopping, I went to Lowe’s to get my long-delayed ceiling/art tile, now that a kind friend helped me to understand what, exactly, I wanted. Then I hit the Cony Street Hannaford, and home again, where?

It’s dern near lunch time.

I’ll get with that in a minute, but first I want to tell you about a Strange Thing that happened on my way home from needlework last night.

It was of course Dark at 6:30 and I was on my way home, no cars ahead of me (of this, I am certain, and so is the Subaru nanny), when suddenly, with no one turning into the road, there was an SUV in front of me. “Wow,” I thought, “I am really tired not to have noticed there was somebody in front of me. This could have gone badly.”

And about the time I finished chastising myself, a cop car came up behind me, lights flashing. I pulled over. The car in front of me pulled over, and cop pulled in right behind them.

I pulled out and continued home, arriving at the corner where the CVS is, where there were several more cop cars in the parking lot, lights flashing and several SUVs that had apparently been pulled in.

. . . which is when I began to entertain the theory that the car which had suddenly appeared ahead of me had been running without its lights in order to Not Be Noticed.

That now off my chest, I’m gonna go see what’s for lunch. I defrosted a couple pieces of pork and I have some frozen skillet veggies, so that may be the way to go.

How’s everybody doing today?
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A call was made for a picture of Steve’s new cardinal, which is below. The new cardinal is hanging up; it’s made of tin.  I gave the reindeer to Steve for Christmas manymany years ago.  The black cat was a gift from someone else, and the ornament in the foreground is made out of paper and lights up. Once Sharon finds a battery for it.

I’m feeling kinda tired, so the Plan for the rest of the day is to go down to the studio to make room on the workbench for the new project before I crash, then come upstairs and do paperwork.

Tomorrow will be a writing day.
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Ready for action. First step is to cut out my pattern pieces, but I can do that upstairs. After I finish my course description and return a contact.

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I?
Am a Tired Woman. However! I am a Tired Woman who has managed to get all the paperwork out of here, and may therefore write tomorrow and Friday and Saturday with impunity.

After I sleep for nine hours.

I did start to handwrite the holiday letter while I was waiting for the car, but that doesn’t really have a drop-deadline on it. My feeling is that the holiday letter can arrive as late as January 2 and still be legitimate.

So! Writing Rules are now in force. I may peek in Occasionally and at Odd Hours over the next three days — or I may not. Default assumption ought to be that I’m working. Which is a good thing.

Everybody take care. Stay comfy. Hug the people you love.

Today’s blog post title brought to you by 38 Special, “If I’d been the one“

Tuesday, with dinosaurs

Dinosaurs first:

Well, that was a surprise. One thousand five hundred new words between Jen Sin and the Uncle.

I have tasted the Hiberian Breakfast tea, and it was pleasant; a step up in whatever it is I seek in tea from the standard Irish Breakfast.

I then had a cup of Scottish Morn, which — may not have been wise. That’s — yeah. Quite a cup of tea. I’ll give it a chance on its own in a couple of days. Might be I’ll have to put milk in it, something I never thought I’d be doing.

Dental appointment at 1 pm, after, and depending on the state of the predicted “rain and snow,” I have a couple of errands, including the grocery, then back home and I’ll see where I am about what. It might be Enola Holmes tonight. I didn’t watch anything last night in favor of reading an article about old people “embracing” the single living lifestyle, which was — ultimately unenlightening. The article affected some astonishment regarding the fact that widowed men are more likely to remarry than widowed women. Which I find Not Surprising At All, though I have friends both male and female who have remarried after losing a spouse.

USPS would like me to believe that I am getting two deliveries from itself today. I will be surprised if that happens.

And I think that’s all the news from here. The cats all trooped back to Steve’s office with me this morning, took up their comfy spots, and I think that’s where they all still are.

I think that’s it for me. What’s it for you?

 

 

Come and take a little walk with me, baby, and tell me —

Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Into what?
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Tuesday.

So that wasn’t much fun. The nerve-zapping-via-electrodes was…disconcerting. The insertion of the thin needles was downright upsetting. However! we lucked in that my patience and the number of needles to be inserted came to an end at the same time.

After, I went to Bleeker and Greer, had an early lunch of ham quiche and mocha (yes, yes — indulge me) then came home via Camden, Northport, Belfast.

I’m going to have a snack and get myself in gear to go out to needlework in a couple hours.

Today’s blog post title brought to you by Lonesome George Thorogood, signing Bo Diddley, and coincidentally the song I heard three times today on three different stations. “Who do you love?”

Below, Park Row, in Northport, Maine.

Friday night roundup

What went before: Errands always take longer than you think they will. However! I have accomplished all my errands.

err. except going to the grocery store.

Which I will be doing! Just as soon as I finish eating the cottage cheese and pretzel that I’m calling by the pet name of “lunch” today.

The guy at SBS said that I was the third stained glass person in on the day, so — good to see we’re all on the case.

The creperie is … difficult for me to understand, and expensive. So I’ll try again some other time.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print at the mom– Oh. I have an Informed Delivery note from the USPS — news of a package due four days out.

Rookie, by the way, doesn’t think that I need to go away for hours just to come home stinking of D.O.G. eeewwww! (SBS has two resident Big, Friendly Dogs, who were Very Interested in me and happy to provide Vitamin Dog, and we all know that it’s rude to turn down freely-offered Vitamin Dog.)

And that really is it.

Off to the grocery store I go!
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Helping me read:
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The day didn’t go exactly as planned, but! I wrote 545 new words, bringing the WIP entire to +/-89,500 words. And I did eventually do all my errands. And Sarah left the house nice and clean.

I was addressed as “sir” in Reny’s by a woman who was horrified and more apologetic than strictly necessary. She had just seen my hair, she said, and, and my shirt, and she had just made an assumption and ohmighod so very, very sorry MA’AM.

And one more argument against the proposition that you can just tell what people “are” by looking at them.

My “business desk” looks like a bomb hit it, but that’s at least partly the printout of the material that didn’t go through yesterday. I can apparently submit via paper, and I’m trying to decide if that will introduce more Room For Error. No HUGE rush, I guess, but I’d like to get it outta here.

I should probably come back after Happy Hour to put the desk into some kind of order. Or, yanno, not. I hate the feeling that I’m falling behind, and behinder. I’m pretty sure I’m not, but I depended on Steve to make those calibrations for me — really depended; I never learned how to do it for myself. I mean, I can — and do — write down the tasks in hand and their deadlines, look at them, and the calendar, and intellectually understand that I’ve got plenty of time, but the panic-maker never stops running around inside my head, yelling, “Holy freaking ghod, you’ve got So. Much. To. Do. You’re never going to get all this done, and then everything will fall apart, and what will happen to the cats, and, and, and. . . ”

Stoopid brain.

It just about is Happy Hour and I’ll at least be pouring myself a glass of wine in celebration of having gotten through today.

Tomorrow evening, I’m going to a magic show (Yes, I am. Stop it, Brain.), which I hope will be fun. I haven’t been to a magic show in ages. In fact, I think the last time was at Messalonskee High, approximately a hundred million years ago.

Before I go serve out Happy Hour, I want to share a photo. When Belle died Sara Oseasohn did a pastel portrait of her. Steve hung it on the wall in the living room, near the cat tree. Sara very kindly sent me a portrait of Trooper, which arrived today. I just hung it up. Pic below — not a good one, but the glass and the lighting kinda stretched my photography skills to the max.

And on that note! Everybody have a good evening. Stay safe. I’ll check in tomorrow.

We are the keepers of several curses

What went before: One thousand seven hundred and thirty-ish new words, and some plotting. Tomorrow is not looking like a good day to write, and in fact, it may be that Tuesday will simply become a Business Day, since needlework is at 5.

I read 70 pages of proofs, go, me.

I did a little more research into the Braiding thing, and I will not be attending. I had somehow had a picture of people sitting in a circle perhaps, braiding brightly colored string or ribbon or yarn, and telling whatever story arose when it was your turn to tell. It sounded nice, in my head, restful, and intimate.

This is actually not what happens. I mean, there’s a bit where people are encouraged to record their stories. But what they’ll be braiding is hair. And the braids made during the session will be incorporated into a braid sculpture created by the leader of the event, and that? Doesn’t appeal to me at all.

So! I won’t be braiding. I’ll look at the schedule to see if there’s anything else that seems interesting, or maybe, yanno, I’ll just stay home on First Friday. It’s not like I don’t have stuff to do.

It’s dark already, here at 7pm Eastern (US), and I’m really dreading the closing in of the dark. After work — right after Coon Cat Happy Hour — was Us Time for Steve and me. We shared a meal, and wine, played a game — or two — or just read together, catching each other up in comments and in silence. I really, really miss that, and I can’t seem to find anything to fill the empty space that is . . . calm and satisfying. It may get better, once I get at least two of the four writing and writing-adjacent projects out of the way, and can read in the evening again. Right now, I can’t do that, because my day has been filled with too many words already, and my head is ringing with them.

Anyhow.

Everybody have a good evening. Stay safe. I’ll check in tomorrow.

Tuesday. Blue skies, high, puffy white clouds. Chilly it begins and chilly it shall remain.

Trash and recycling have made it to the curb. First cup of tea to hand. I should find something to eat for breakfast. Eh. Tea and free association first.

The first two pair of jeans I put on this morning slipped right off before I could even put anything in the pockets, so I guess 38X34 is no longer a thing. Happily, I have several pairs of 36X34, which are a little loose, but that’s what belts and tuck-in shirts are for.

This morning, after breakfast, another trek to the hospital, for xray and blood draw. Possibly meeting a friend for lunch and a hand-off that’s been months in the making.

Needlework at 5.

Somewhere in-between there, I ought to do business things and read some page proofs. Check.

Today . . . Today is September 30, the day before The Game officially begins. As you are aware, last year I did not play. As you are also aware, the Openers won.

I am this year enlisting on the side of the Closers, and will commence my participation tonight with: “I am a watchdog. My name is Snuff.”

Who’s with me?

Today’s blog post title brought to you by Roger Zelazny, A Night in the Lonesome October, 1993, Avon Books.

Soldier on, only you can do what must be done

Up betimes because there were pony races in the hall, followed by a sound that my sleeping mind identified as “That’s not right.”

And, indeed, it wasn’t right. Steve has a piece of burlap hanging in his office with various convention badges and buttons appended thereto. And Rookie Too-Smart had gotten one of the badges down with its lanyard and had run it down the hall to put by the bed, so I’d be sure to see it, first thing.

Sigh.

What a good boy.

Tea brewing. And look! I have an extra couple hours to write!

And how’s Monday starting out for you?
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Supervisors on duty:

 

 

 

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Small break to refill the Yeti with water and confuse the cats.

Not quite as focused on the writing this morning as I have been. I did write +/-865 words, and I intend to go back and at least plot out — I use this term both loosely and idiosyncratically — the scenes that are missing. Very few of those, now, which is — I have no idea how this book is happening, but it’s managing to come together, and, yanno — I’m only the writer. Nobody tells me anything.

I really want to just continue writing today, absent breaks for staging the trash, and doing my duty to the cats, and my brain is telling me I could just call in a veggie burger from Five Guys and that would be efficient, which suggestion is entered as evidence for why I don’t trust my brain.

As I said, I wasn’t laser-focused this morning. For instance, I bought a slip-proof mat for my keyboard, since Steve’s desk is VERY slidey. I also signed up for braiding and storytelling at First Friday, reasoning that, if I have something to actually attend on First Friday, the whole affair will make more sense to me.

The addition of the braiding made me realize that I suddenly have lots going on this week, For Values Of. Tomorrow evening, needlework; Thursday evening, my first stained glass class; Friday evening, the braiding thing; Saturday, Magic Rocks. I should also get (another!) blood test and a back xray. I can do the back xray tomorrow, but I’m a little leery about another blood test, even though this one isn’t fasting, and shouldn’t require more than one vial.

The above is also an illustration of why I don’t take every weekend “off” — I tend to decide to do things whenever, since writing is, to a certain point at least, malleable.

So, that. And I guess, while I’m up, I might as well perform my duty to the cats and get the trash and recycling into the garage for tomorrow.

So, I see that the Reimagined United States now has autodocs? And special hospitals that are only filled with autodocs — excuse me — “Med Beds” (gags), and there’s one with my name on it, probably in Solcintra, but, hey, it’s the thought…

How’s everybody at more or less midday (Eastern US) Monday?

Today’s blog post brought to you by John Parr, “St. Elmo’s Fire“

Crafty Saturday

Going to the craft fair.

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Swag has been taken on.

Also, I may have a source for Tree-and-Dragon cameos. Which might be of interest.

A word about the swag.  The cobwebby thing is a shapechanger.  I don’t know its actual name.  If you manipulate the wand, you can change the relation of the webs to each other, and if you pick it up and hold it in various positions, you have either a flower or an umbrella, or, if you spin it, you can acquire webs again.  It’s amusing, for some reason.  Also, the pine cone leaning against the mug is made entirely of brown sea glass found on Maine islands, and gathered by the artist.

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So the craft fair. It was fun. I want credit for not coming home with the four foot knitted dragon, or any of the many hand-pets present.

Only a couple people shied away from my mixed media outfit — Steve’s leather vest over a purple mock-neck, utility jeans, and pretty silver jewelry, and one person gets a star because I had gone out to the car to get a bag after my first pass through the fair, and it had gotten warm enough that I didn’t need the vest, so I left it behind, and! when I went past this particular table on the second pass and said, “Hello, again,” she said, “I thought you looked familiar, but you were wearing a leather coat before.”

I am presently making cornbread, because I’ve been wanting cornbread for months and I know better than store-bought, and as soon as that’s done, it will become part of my mid-day meal, which I’m suspecting will be leftover chili. The afternoon will be dedicated to writing, as I have, like, three scenes in my head that are clamoring for attention.

Saw my lovely neighbors outside when I came back, and had a chat. They’re having tree work done, and I told them the story of the four ghostly arborists, so they will be calling their arborist, with whom they have a long standing relationship, and adding my trees to the list, and have him come out to take a look. Then, they screwed down a warped board on my front steps and fixed the screen door.

I have The Best Neighbors.

And! The oven just beeped. Best get the cornbread in.

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I should also give an honorable mention to the person who — and her voice was not exactly steady when she said this, “Your jewelry is very pretty.” Also! Bruce? I think it was Bruce. Who delivered Vitamin Dog with Great Gusto.

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One thousand three hundred eleven new words. Give or take. At some point, I need to get with the master file and see where that gets us in a words-to-story kind of way.

Also read +/- 50 pages of page proofs for Diviner’s Bow mmp.

The cats are at Happy Hour and I am a tired woman. Going out, seeing the neighbors, and spending money is fun, but expensive of energy. Not to mention the other stuff.

Tomorrow, I resume the get up and get writin’ schedule.

Everybody have a good evening. Stay safe.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

Friday on the road

Friday. It’s an awfully nice day. Sunny and breezy. Warmer up inland where the Confusion Factory is located, than down Bath, where it was Right Cool at that nice little park of theirs. If I could snap my fingers and move this house as it is to Bath, I’d do that.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.

So, I saw my PCP, who’s looking well. I have my COVID shot, so that’s taken care of. I will also be traveling up and down Central and Coastal Maine for the next little bit — acupuncture at Rockport (not really acupuncture, but something to do with needles and reading nerve health and messaging); PT at Augusta; Audiology in this, mine own city. … I’m not sure where the bloodwork’s to be done. I’m hoping Thayer, but I need to check the portal.

We are in pursuit of a Better, Longer Term fix for the back, because it’s getting worse, and the poor chiropractor has worn out at least three hammers on me, to no real avail. He no sooner pronounces me Aligned, poor man, then my back goes out again for no reason, and I collapse to the floor, screaming. I mean, something’s not right when you hurt your back doing Tai Chi.

While in Bath, I went down to the park, obviously, and enjoyed a chocolate peppermint latte at Cafe Cream. It was wonderful, and now I’m sorry I didn’t allow myself a scone or a muffin, but! I found that just sitting in a busy cafe, sipping my latte and not doing much else, was … oddly restorative. I think it helped that everyone was having a reasonably good time; there were no angry voices, or people being nasty to the folks behind the counter, said folks being Genuinely Interested in you and your order (“Ooh, the Yorkie Latte? (this being the official blackboard name of my drink.) You’re gonna love that.” And she wasn’t wrong.)

After I drank my treat, I went across to Now Your Cooking and toured the premises. I bought a couple of gadgets — including a hook that will help me open pull-tab cans, which has become an issue — and a what ought to be a very nice red blend bottle of wine, which I plan on opening this evening, to reward myself for having gotten credibly through the morning.

The car’s GPS did this to me the last time I went to Bath, but I didn’t remember it soon enough to keep it from freaking me out. When you get off the expressway, there is Only One Way to merge with the state route. The GPS Strongly Disagrees with this, and starts screaming ROUTE RECALCULATING! ROUTE RECALCULATING! like a mad thing, and it really gets your heart racing. As I did the time before, I pulled off into the handy shopping center, whereupon the GPS recovered itself and agreed that I had been on the right road. Next time, I’m going to have to Steel Myself to ignore it.

On the way home, I stopped at the Harvest Moon Deli and bought way too much food — Tikka Marsala soup, which was good, and I ate it all; a roast beast of burden (they name their sandwiches after classic rock songs at the Harvest Moon) sandwich, which I ate a quarter of one half, the other 3/4s destined for the evening meal, and the remaining half either for tomorrow’s breakfast or lunch.

I still have paperwork sorting and portal-visiting to do relative to the medical part of the day, so that’s what I’ll be doing for the rest of the afternoon, with an eye toward hitting the writing space tomorrow and getting something useful done.

And how was your morning?

Before departure, Whatcha Doin’ Moms:

Saturday’s adventures

My goodness what a pleasant day.

The high point, of course, is that I quite by accident scored my ninth store on my Reny’s Passport and for this achievement I was awarded! a Reny’s candy bar of my choice (my choice being dark chocolate and seal salt), and a $10 Reny’s gift card. Only 10 more to do, but, honestly? I’m probably not going to make it.

The craft fair was a lovely thing, very small but high quality. I talked to people about glass making, and pottery, and jewelry, and writing, bought some handmade soap (peppermint and lemongrass, since you ask), and a pair of earrings made out of rutilated quartz, which NOBODY makes jewelry out of rutilated quartz and I adore the stuff, so there we are.

I spaced around Longfellow’s for quite some time and managed not to buy any plants, because then I would have to plant them, and then my back would go out, and I’d really rather not. It was hard turning down more lavender, though. Especially since it was on sale.

After I was done at the greenhouse and the fair, I went for a ride. Steve usually provided rides, but I made this one for myself and it was quite nice. I went through Readfield and Fayette, and Mount Vernon, eventually mooched over to Wilton, thence to Farmington, where I spent some time exploring The Center for Entrepreneurial Studies — apparently the successor to the new age shop that had been on the opposite corner forever, drove through Strong and New Vineyard (deciding against Rangeley or Kingfield), Madison, stopped for a slightly late lunch at Ken’s in Skowhegan, veered to Pittsfield, where I got my 9th Reny’s stamp, then came home through Canaan, and over East River Road, stopping at the Dairy Queen on the Fairfield side of town for a chocolate-and-vanilla (softserve) twist inna cup.

It was an eye-opener, my ride. So much stuff has changed since the last time I’d been by certain places — which would be anywhere from two to five years ago — but, in all, a nice day, a nice ride, some good conversations and now I’m in for a few days, though I may venture out again next Saturday, to the Rock Show in Augusta.

The coon cats are after Happy Hour, and honestly? I could use a glass of wine my own self, so I think we’ll be moving in that direction.

What did y’all do today?

Out-and-about Day

What went before:  So, back from needlework, where a good time was had.

Tomorrow, I have that 1:30 appointment in Augusta and I also have errands to run. I may just run the errands in the morning, before speeding off to Augusta, and get with the manuscript when I come home. Thursday morning I have, thank ghod, an appointment to get my hair cut; after that, I am Unscheduled until next Tuesday.

Right now, I need to wash a few dishes, find something to eat, then read for a bit — Stone and Sky, in case anybody’s wondering. I’m hoping for another good night’s sleep, ’cause I’m walking the crinkly edge of Very Tired. Also, I have two coon cats on my lap, helping me write this.

Tali would like you to know that her kid brother is a rat. Trooper would like you to know that he ate two envelopes of gravy and half a can of cat food today, and now wants to see what on earth that Peter fellow is about. Honestly, you can’t leave that man alone for a minute.

Everybody have a good evening. Stay safe. I’ll check in tomorrow.

Wednesday. Sunny and heading for hot. AQI is in the 90s.

Breakfast was half a blueberry muffin and cottage cheese. Lunch will, I suspect, be taken in several parts.

Trooper has had his gravy-with-meds, and a few mouthfuls of regular gooshy food.

My tasks today are errands in-town, and a medical appointment out of town. I guess I’ll finish off the day by cleaning the bathroom and running a vacuum or two.

I had another good night’s sleep — three in a row — with very busy dreams.

Other than that — and aside a mad case of the Zooms afflicting Rook, who passed it to Tali, who tried to pass it to Firefly, who bonked her in the head, thus releasing the Zoomfairy to other business — there’s really nothing more to report.

How’re y’all doing this morning?