Today — that would be Sunday — has been very strange and dislocated.
I got up what counts for “late” nowadays, declared to myself that I didn’t want to eat breakfast, I didn’t want to sit with the sun lamp, life was ashes, and everything a waste of time. Yeah, I know, but Brain Spin doesn’t make sense. It just Spins.
I managed to talk myself into a cup of tea with the sun lamp by mentioning that I had to fill in my calendar for next week, so I knew where I needed to be when (next week being a thought difficult), and was thus not a waste of time. So, I got my 30 minutes of light. By then, it was really getting on, but I plea-bargained breakfast by pointing out that, by eating late and large, I could have a small, late lunch.
Hit the office a little after 10 and wrote until 3 (and this is how I wrote a book last year. No Brain Spin while writing.) Then I had my promised snack-called-lunch, changed out the cat fountains, did my duty to the cats and — that’s gonna be it. No, I did not do my PT homework. No, I did not take a walk. Nor did I throw myself off a high building, so I’m calling Life and me even on the day.
The cats have been keeping close; both Rook and Tali tried to figure out how to sit on my lap while I’m typing, but neither could make it work. Firefly, not being a lapsitter, kept watch from On High.
I have, for what its worth, figured out why this rough patch, now. December 5 would have been when we knew for sure that the meds weren’t going to work, surgery was not a thing, and the downhill slope was one way.
It’s nice to have a mystery cleared up, I guess.
Well. I still have tomorrow clear to write. Hopefully, with less spin.
Everybody have a good evening; stay safe.
I’ll check in tomorrow.
I am sorry that you had such a tough day. May good habits and cats and the WIP carry you through to brighter and better times.
I’m thinking that I need a sun lamp, too. I didn’t used to need one, but life has changed and now I do. And I need to lean harder into the good habits.
I’m so sorry it was a rough day. Glad you have the cats keeping watch, and the tea, and the sunlamp. I hope tomorrow is better.
I’m wishing you patience to endure the bad days, and strength to keep going, and hope you can be kind to yourself, and take as good care of yourself as you do of the cats.