I do not think that word means what you think it means

So had follow-up at dentist, which was, according to him, a “consultation.”  To me, “consultation” means sitting ’round a table and drawing up a Treatment Plan, or figuring out which things are priorities and which are pie in the sky.  “You will not,” the dentist said to me — the last thing he said to me, at the end of our last appointment — “need to take the sedative.”

So, I didn’t take the sedative, and I didn’t bring the bear.  BIG mistake, there.  I’m gonna start making it Policy to just bring the damn’ bear.  She can sit in a chair next to me and play with the pens if it turns out we’re in a meeting.  Because! It comes to pass that the dentist’s idea of “consultation” is, You sit in the dental chair; I show you the model of your mouth and what the problem is.  I tell you what I’m going to do about it.  Then, I do it, right now.

On top of this, the Tooth of Doom (which always hurts, a little, no matter that I’ve given it two root canals and a pretty porcelain cap) blew up on me yesterday, which I noticed when I took my first sip of coffee and the pain sent me Right. Through. The. Ceiling.

Informed of this circumstance, the dentist decided to knock around on the teeth on either side of the Tooth of Doom, to see if anything else was compromised.  I can see where this is going to end up — I mean, I’m not an idiot — and I carefully tuck my hands under my thighs so I don’t hurt anybody.

Knock Tooth One.  “Does this hurt?” Headshake.

Knock Tooth Two.  “Does this hurt?” Headshake.

Knock Tooth Three.  “Does this hurt?” Headshake.

Knock Tooth Four — I’d grabbed his wrist before I even knew I was moving.

“OK, then!  This one.”


Anyhow, we got through the consultation with everybody still standing, and no one bloodied.  He filed down some of my upper teeth (“The bottom teeth, I will not touch this time.  I promise.”) so they’ll fit better with the bottom teeth, and recommended braces.  We made another appointment, for a consultation, in two weeks, and I’m here to tell you right now that I’m not only taking the bear; I’m taking the sedative, too.

The plan for the rest of the afternoon was to see Winter Soldier, but I already used up a week’s supply of adrenaline.  I think maybe a nap is in order.


9 thoughts on “I do not think that word means what you think it means”

  1. A nap sounds like a tea whistlin idea! you have had enough trauma for one day. Moral of the story is that a dentist speaks with forked tongue never take them at face value it is bad for your health. Always expect 4 times the worst as it will happen.

  2. I’m amazed you didn’t kill him.
    (I’m currently trying to avoid a root canal.
    I’m not sure I’ll be successful.)

  3. I am curled in bed, my mouth hurting from a dental visit last Tuesday, wondering why I even bothered to go. Nothing hurt and everything felt fine before he “worked” on me. Now one whole side of my head hurts and I am supposed to go back in two weeks. Your tale gives me the idea of taking a plush companion with me. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I hope your next visit, (and mine!) is less traumatic.

  4. OMG, you definitely should take the bear and the sedative !

    I never used to have a huge problem with the dentist, but a couple of rounds with bad dentists has made me almost phobic about going. Fortunately, now have good dentist with a large supply of nitrous … 😉

  5. Until Lynn Hall mentioned a “plush friend” it had not occurred to me that Sharon had meant anything other than an eight foot tall grizzly bear with a predisposition to distrust dentists…’cause that’s for sure the bear *I* would take!

  6. To me, a consultation is what you get when you ask for a second opinion from another dentist.

  7. You didn’t damage him? Mine today, a Dr, pressed really hard on the spot that hurts so much and I glared, hissed, bared my teeth and threatened him. Then I commented that I had done well. I had not kicked him. LOL, he jumped back then! Hope the tooth is improving.

  8. If I had that dentist, I think I would go with Dan’s version of a bear companion! So sorry you are in so much distress. I have had very good relationships with all my dentists…doctors on the other hand…

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