We here at the Confusion Factory are either going to receive, on the overnight, 1 inch of snow, or in excess of 6. Stay tuned.
Meanwhile, someone has gone to the trouble of identifying the 10 “most dangerous” cities in Maine. Always understanding that “dangerous” is relative. Interestingly, or not, we have lived in Skowhegan, which takes the top spot in overall crime per capita, and holds the cherished position of fifth most dangerous metropolis in Maine; and also in Waterville, which has the fourth highest overall crime rate. We aspire to improve ourselves, however, and shift south to Lucky Number Seven.
We came first to Skowhegan, when we settled in Maine, and, since we needed to earn money, as one does, I applied for the advertised position of bartender at what was then the Kennebec Valley Inn. I’ll mention here that I’ve always been plagued by an innocent-seeming demeanor, and people constantly mistake me for a lady. The owner took one look at me and said, “Nope, oh no, no way. You can’t work here. It’s too rough.”
Mind you, I had just moved from Baltimore (second only to. . .Elkton?. . .in danger of the much more dangerous Maryland variety. Here’s the link.), where we had maintained a storage facility, where I had very nearly crushed a man’s hand with a pipe to stop him from dragging me across the counter by the front of my shirt — and I said to him, “Oh, c’mon, how rough can it be?”
“You have no idea,” he told me, fervently.
And I didn’t get the job. And after a few weeks of taking the local paper and perusing the police blotter, I was glad I hadn’t gotten the job. I’d’ve never kept my nail polish from chipping.
And that? Is all I’ve got.
* * *
Progress on Alliance of Equals
45,943/100,000 OR 45.9% COMPLETE
Perhaps he could simply suggest to the breeze that he was a sack of potatoes, and thus be safely ignored.